The Sinking Titanic

Do you ever just reach your limit? That moment where you feel the water rising and you have no where to go and you feel like you are drowning in the stress, depression, anger, grief, and pure frustration of "it" all. You try with all of your might and you keep trying. It just doesn't seem to get better, easier, or worth it. Life can often times feel like the sinking Titanic. Such a great adventure and then here comes the iceberg. The idea that it gets better doesn't seem to help the present it-sucks-so-much feeling. And no matter who has a word of advice it doesn't seem loud enough to break through the anger in your head. It happens. We have all been there. Some of us are there more often than others. We fight, we scream, some of us internally, others loud enough for all to hear, but none of us come out unscathed. So what do we do when we are facing the rising waters?

Get out? Give up? Give in? Some do. Some dig their heels in and refuse to lose the battle. We fight internally hoping it doesn't show externally. We put on a happy face and hope the world doesn't see our pain. We fear the embarrassment of these feelings will ruin us. We deal with the pain ourselves. And then others, reach out reach Up and allow themselves to be helped. It takes a strong person to ask for help when they are down on their luck, kicked in the gut with hands thrown in the air and towel thrown in the ring. It comes in a small whisper, but is heard as a cry. We live in a world with over 7 billion people. They are out there. Those helpers that are born to help.

Are you a needer or a helper today? If you have ever looked into a self help or rehab center. Your greatest tool is to help others. For some reason life doesn't look so dreary when you can extend a hand of help. Maybe it's because you see you aren't the only one struggling in this great big world, maybe it's just therapeutic to help another human being. What ever it is. It works. Maybe we don't feel it at first but merely going through the actions changes our mind. Don't feel like feeding the homeless? You have too much stress and anger built up towards this world that has done nothing but kick you in the teeth? Do it any way. You'll feel it, a heart change. Some of us were born to serve and others were born to learn to serve.

Dear You,

I spent some time today thinking about our health and the need to have our emotional tank filled. We want to be proud of our accomplishments, but our society has taught us from a very young age that the best is the best, and anything less is not good enough. I have spent the better part of my adult life with this misconception.

I'm not the best writer, mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, or worker. I have counted my accomplishments from placards on the wall, paychecks, publications, and thank yous. I have spent many hours discouraged, because I didn't feel I amounted to what I should. I strove harder, worked harder, slept less, and still find myself behind others. So I stopped, I sat back and I took stock of my accomplishments and I used an actual outside view. I decided to write myself the same letter I would pen a friend if given the chance to tell him or her how proud I was.


Dear Me,

You rock! I am amazed at how much you accomplish is such a short amount of time. I am equally amazed at how springing out of bed at the crack of dawn comes easily to you. You have patience with your children when you would rather lock yourself in a bathroom, turn on the water and pretend the outside world doesn't exist. It is apparent, you are a good parent because your children like you, talk to you, enjoy spending time with you and hug you often. You are a great wife. Trust me on this one. You are. You may argue with your husband and fail to see eye to eye on most things. Do not worry, you are giving God a great comedy show and you are learning day by day to be patient with difficult people. Yourself included.

Lazy? Never. Well at least not as long as there are hours in the day. You work fervently. You pour your heart into your work. You hurt with your clients when they are discouraged and rejoice with them when they accomplish greatness. You will never be blamed for not trying.

Don't let the world berate you for your flaws. You are imperfect. You have shortcomings and you make mistakes and that is okay. Often our greatest weaknesses are also our greatest strengths. Hold your head up and own it. You are a strong willed, stand on your own two feet, companionate, determined, never take "no" for an answer woman.

Love,
Me

It's not easy being kind to yourself. And it certainly isn't easy to find your best qualities. We feel ashamed and embarrassed to point out our strengths. The world will tell you, "You are prideful and self centered." I say, if you can't see the positive in yourself, neither will anyone else. It is when we can be kind to ourselves that we can be kind to others. Your ability to see the positive in the world will come from seeing the positive in yourself. Change your heart and you change your view!

Grab a computer, pen and paper, napkin, chalk board, heck I don't care what you use to get your thoughts out. But write yourself an 'I'm proud of you letter.' And each year re-write it.

It is also important we take a moment to tell others when we are proud of them. A high five goes a long way to encourage others. The next time you see someone really trying hard, let them know you noticed. Take a moment to fill someone else's emotional tank with words of praise. I promise it will make a difference.

Be kind to yourself:

 “Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and
he will become as he can and should be.”
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I accept myself my self unconditionally right now." Hungry for Change

"I am by nature a dealer of words and words are the most powerful drug known to humanity." Rudyard Kipling