Mother of All Relays

Hood to Coast is fondly referred to as the Mother of All Relays! Someone at some point thought it would be an awesome idea to cram twelve people (14 in our case) into two vans and have them run 198 miles from Mt Hood to Seaside, Oregon. We began the "race" at the base of Mt Hood. I use the term race as loosely as possible since our finishing time was 32.5 hours and the winner finished in 17 hours. Our first runner, who we must dislike because we gave her, in my opinion, the hardest first leg of the entire relay. Wearing roller skates crossed her mind, as they would have doubled as rocket ships catapulting her down Mt Hood at speeds that would have broken sound barriers. A 10 minute/mile runner can often times be found sprinting at 6 minute/mile speeds. This may sound impressive, but the only thing more shocking is the look on the runners face when they realize they will have to slow their pace in order to hand off the slap bracelet. Runners of legs 2 and 3, although running at inclines much less than runner 1, didn't get off much easier. Which leads me to runner 4. She could be heard reminding anyone who would listen, that " People! I don't think you understand! I'm running the "Longest" leg of the first vans relay." I'm aware the metal given at the end will never make up for her logging these miles, but the bragging rights may. Runner 5, who is clinically insane for "choosing" to run a route that may have needed grappling on her first and third legs. I ran Leg 6 hoping to have any easy year. Hark! To my amazement I was in for a rude awaking. I have spent six years running this crazy relay. Always choosing the "hardest" legs.. Of course go big or go home. I have learned a very valuable lesson this year. NONE OF THESE LEGS ARE EASY. I'm not sure if the person writing the Handbook has taken a moment to logs the miles on their own body, but if they have and they are still giving any of them a rating of "easy." They as well as Runner 5 are clinically insane.

Our first of three trade offs went off without a hitch. What I mean by that is: no one had to duck into the bushes halfway through their run, everyone was fully hydrated, no one was clawing anyone's eyes out and we found a replacement van when ours decided to sh$# the bed. Oh what a morning it was! Good luck Van 2. We wish you good tidings and fast feet!

Fully fueled and ready to embark on round two! The night run. Good news is if you have to "use the rest room" half way through your leg no one will see you duck in the bushes and the fright you will give someone jumping out cover of night may make them pee their pants. Bad news is, where the Heck is the road?! What was that?! Is someone in the bushes?! How much farther is it?! Did I miss a turn? Where am I?! Am I running up a flipping mountain? Why does it feel like I'm running up a mountain?! Second hand off and we are out. Van 2 is on their way.

Was that a nap? Did I sleep? Were my eyes actually closed? Am I seriously expected to run again? For the love of everything that is holy. I have three children and I have survived many a sleepless nights and I do not recall ever having the desire to burn a few extra mid morning calories when I feel like someone slapped me in the face with a two by four. Oh the fun of this race. We have gotten to the point of the "race" where EVERYONE is standing in lines for Porta Potties that smell like something died in them. I actually heard people applauding the Porta Potty men like they were NBA stars when they came to clean. I'm not sure how they could possibly make the smell worse while cleaning, but kid you not, they did. High five to the people who put the Porta Potty next to my "shoot" to start my last leg. Yay for me I can pee. Nay for me I can't breathe. At this point I will run as fast as you would like to which ever location has running water, a comfy bed, electricity, and actual food that has to be cooked. As I made my way to my final hand off to Van 2 I felt like the 1950's Looney Toons Road Runner whose legs are moving so quickly they look like circles. "Sweet Caroline! Bum Bum Bum! Good times never seemed so good!" Done and Done. This is what I know. Van 2 is on their way and I have 198 day of rest!

http://www.hoodtocoast.com/race-information
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vhFnTjia_I "Sweet Caroline"

Workplace Wellness

We (and I use that term loosely since I spend most of my days running crazy) spend eight hours a day in an office building working tirelessly for "the man." Who this man is they speak of I'm not sure. The clock strikes 5 and out of the fluorescent light we scamper only to sit in our cars for an additional 30-60min in high stress, please-don't-let-me-flip-that-person-off mode. Working out after work seems like the impossible and eating something that isn't jam packed with carbs is borderline foreign. The hours we should be spending sleeping are used up with mindless tv, because after all after a long day in the office don't we deserve it?! Forget waking up early! The snooze button is broken from being hit so many times at rapid fire, full force. So how do we get ahead with our health when 95% of our life is working against us???

Lets focus on changing our greatest percentage of time. The hours spent at work! Sally, your best girl friend in your office and Tom who hits you up for a high five when entering the office in the morning seem to always bring tasty treats. We aren't sure where Sally finds the time to make triple chocolate caramel brownies three times a week. Hell, she has five kids and volunteers for her daughters Girl Scout Troop. Mind you, daily you both reminisce about your pre baby bodies and how losing 20lbs would be near to winning the Power Ball Jack Pot. Tom lives twenty minutes from the donut shop but arrives late carrying 2 dozen donuts. All is forgiven for his lateness since he's toting sugary coma snacks. It's time to have "the talk" with your co-workers. It's time to change the mood of your office. It's time to get Sally a new hobby and Tom to work on time!

You want a wellness program but you work for a mom and pops company who doesn't have the funding to create a wellness program. Or maybe you work for a large cooperation that pinches it's pennies tighter than a vice grip. You may need to think outside of the box. Create your own wellness program. Develop a walking group during your lunch hour. Have points for steps logged on the stairs, or ounces of water drank during the work day. Rack up points for each serving of vegetable "eaten" at lunch time. Hell, give double points for those who get their workout in before arriving to work.
Once you have "created" your spreadsheet (I live in spreadsheet world!) go to your owner/CEO/highest on the totem pole and ask for a wanted item for the office or a coveted new electronic. If the stingy....stinkers wont fork over a $50 -$100 incentive then charge $5 for buy in the wellness program and use the money to purchase prizes. At the end of the 30 days the person with the highest points wins the prize. Excuses will never create change. It's time to get up off your swivel chair and "BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE HAPPEN."