My New Friend's Name is Paleo

I'm not sure if any of you were aware, but March was Inflammation Awareness Month. No kidding. There is an entire month designated to Inflammation! I was shocked, but I know it to be true because on March 14th I received a postcard in the month stating this handy little fact. Two things came directly to mind: 1. I'm finding out about this on the 14th?! That's 14 days of celebration lost. And 2. I must do something about this inflammation they speak of. In my car with my three amigos I piled and scurried on down to my Naturopath. One blood draw later I was sent on my way. Two weeks the office attendant hollered to me. I have two weeks to wait to find out what foods are slowly but surly destroying me. TWO WEEKS! What if I'm eating the wrong foods for the next two weeks? What if the damage is already done. You can breathe easy. Apparently the damage does not occur that fast. I have time to kill.

In the blink of an eye or two eyes, one eye would be a wink, my two weeks flew. Poised and ready in an office that I'm sure somehow hit a time continuum holding it in 1973. Out came my results....drum roll please. Deep breath: almonds, wheat, gluten, eggs, yeast (all), pineapple, and cabbage. My doctor looks me square in the eye and says "steer clear of all of these." "You would be the perfect candidate for the Paleo diet." For the love of everything that is holy. Why was this woman was smiling while I was certain I was just handed a death sentence?

After a very expensive trip to a local grocer I was ready to go. Every new veggie and meat product I could think of was in my car. I had set out on my new journey with a new friend. Four days into this journey. I can say that Paleo and I are more like distant cousins than friends. I miss products with flour in them. I have had actual dreams about dancing cookies (okay, that didn't actually happen.) I spent half of my life savings on a product the stores like to call Paleo bread ($7.99) and the loaf is this big-->

This is a direct description from the retailer: Paleo Breads Are Soft & Fluffy. Uhhhhhh, hmmmmm. I am quite certain that if I bought a pillow that was comparably soft and fluffy I would be in desperate need of a chiropractor. If exfoliation is as good for the inside of your body as it is for the outside. I am good to go.

This journey is not over. 30 days my goal to a new and improved digestive tract. In the event you see me gnawing on cardboard I may have just mistaken if for my loaf of bread. Happy APRIL! No longer Inflammatory Awareness Month. You all are in the clear.